A new moment in time

So, Karyn had made it clear what she wanted, but what was that? Was it just living for the moment? or something longterm? I told her if I was just another thing for her, I wasnt interested...I already liked her, but when people end things with others, sometimes friendships dont work after that, she was a friend, and I didnt want to throw that away. She made it clear she was unsure about what she wanted, I hoped it was something longterm, but I guess having been hurt in the past makes it hard for someone to trust in someone else, I know it was hard for me, so there was doubt there between us. As the weeks went by things were pretty good, we'd hangout together, either at parties or just at her parents place, but there was this slightly unsure feeling when we were out, im a hopeless romantic, I wanted to have my arm around her, or hold her hand, when I tried to it would only last a few seconds before she'd move away or let go, it was obvious she was unsure about 'us', but that was ok, I was having fun anyway. At the time she told me, many times, about a male friend of hers, Ben, it sounded like there was this strong bond between her and him, he was away-overseas I think, she was waiting for him to come home so they could catchup. There was also her other friend, a female, Kerry, she was dating Karyns brother Paul, they were really good friends, I got along with her, she wasnt the usual type either, her sense of humor was very dry, straight to the point sort of person, she was cool, as was her brother. When Ben finally got back into town, Karyn sounded very excited, I wasnt thrilled, I think its always abit strange for the female/male friendship thing, sometimes words go unspoken in friendships like that, Karyn just seemed more excited by his return than she how things were between us, he invited us to a party, this was going to be strange. That night at the party it was what I expected, she introduced me to him, he seemed nice enough, but still... Throughout the night there was obvious flirting, the touching of his arm by her, resting her leg on his lap, it felt like I wasnt there. By the time we left I felt hurt, she hug him and showed him more affection than she did me, I felt that whole third wheel thing again. Months had passed now, Karyn still didnt really show her intentions for us, she spoke about a airline hostess job, an overseas one, was she serious? Did I mean that little to her that she was prepared to take a job that would split us up after only a few months? My head was totally burntout by this point, it seemed like I was just a passing fad, just an inbetween person, it was hurtful, but I should probably just grin and bare it. She never got that job, things started to favour me and what I wanted. One night when she was with me at my parents house, after they had gone out, we had a moment, she said " I think this is bad, but im falling in love with you", "its not a bad thing" I said, this was the moment I had been waiting for, this was a dream come true, someone saying they loved me, I finally felt like maybe I was good enough. I felt this strong connection with her, I felt complete, I hoped this would be everything I always wanted, I never had an ego, but I think when you doubt yourself, but someone says those words to you...it gives you hope, it makes you smile inside and out, and you feel like nothing else could take that moment away and that you ARE something...and for me I felt like nothing would ever come between us...