Salvation and Dreaming

Ok, so this isnt really a continuation of the previous post, more random info, filling in the gaps type thing. My early memories as a kid, apart from feeling alone for most of the time, was dreaming lots, making up things in my head to pass the day, day dreaming of the typical 'boy' type things, having magical powers, being able to create mystical creatures, knights, wizards, you know fantasy stuff, typical young boy dreams, but it was a constant thing, just day dreaming. Sometimes just being alone was good, I didnt have to explain things to anyone, I could just have my imaginary world that was just mine...although I did wish every now and then to share that with someone. Time can fly by when you're a kid, you want the days to hurry up sometimes, to become older, then when you're older you want to get your childhood back...funny really. My imagination was there right through my older teen years, it changed abit though, my focus was more on finding someone to share my dreams with, i'd pay close attention to what certain people said, trying to find things in a conversation that told me they shared similar interests to me, sadly that was a very rare thing to find! People just didnt 'get me', most people were dreaming of their future jobs, money etc, work wasnt really a big goal of mine, I think my values in life were different, maybe I was a few years behind my friends, most of them were chasing the 'settling in' goals, I just wanted to live, have fun without being tied to something. From my early teen years though I always wanted to have someone in my life that understood me, someone genuine to talk to, share my passion for certain things, places I wanted to see, things I wanted to do, and enjoy my 'other' little part of salvation...music. Once my early childhood dreams started to change, I needed another thing that could take me away from lifes little challenges, music was it. I'd always had a interest in music since I was maybe 10 or thereabouts, but it was mostly based on what my parents had, random music that really didnt interest them, im not sure where some of their music collection came from, tapes with 'greatest hits' from various bands, Blondie, Bucks Fizz and many more that I cant remember now, later around the time I was living at Eight Mile Plains, I discovered music tv, it opened the door to a few australian bands, some of them I liked, INXS in particular, and other random 'pub' type bands, later in when Adrian move in across the road he brought with him the 'alternative' wave of music that I had never heard of before, The Doors, The Damned, various punk rock artists like The Sex pistols, The clash, most of them I didnt really like back then, they werent 'top ten tv' types, when I started grade 8 my school friends introduced me to Heavy Metal, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Megadeth and Metallica, I was Hooked!!! This aggressive, angry music was an outlet for me, it fueled my anger that was building, the more that people would push me away, the more aggressive music i'd listen to. Music was so inspiring to me, ive never been much of a poet or a writer or anything like that, but music made my mind wander, I remember thinking of lyrics to situations that were happening to me, I also remember in Grade 9 after all my school friends had turned their back on me, we had a english assignment to write a poem of some sort, up until this point I hadnt really taken much interest in class, but this was different, this was my chance to get out some creativity, I wrote this poem/song that I had in my head, i'd never been proud of anything i'd done up until that point, but this felt good, I was expecting it to get a great reaction from my english teacher, unfortunatly my 'friends' told the teacher that I had ripped off the idea from a Iron Maiden song, which I hadnt, but one of them did, the teacher told me that it was a weak effort on my part and failed me. That was a crushing moment, it was clear to me that life was nothing but an uphill battle, survival of the strongest, and I was weak. To this day I cant remember what any part of my poem was, I never wrote like that again. After I changed schools the following year, I still used music to fuel my aggression, until one day I heard a song by an old 70's punk rock band that changed me forever, the song was Pet Sematary(yes wrong spelling) , the band was The Ramones, the lyrics were strange, the music was simple yet perfect to my ears, I loved them straight away. From that day I found more of their music, they became my favorite band, and they changed me, their music was basic, the lyrics were often wierd, but funny, it just made my days better, I loved what they were, average misfits that nobody thought much of, they were the underdogs in life, they werent some over produced band with multi million dollar videos or recording deals, they were just the 4 friends that started a band, and did what they loved, playing music! Theres not a day that goes by that I regret listening to their music, I miss Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee, im one of a million kids that had their life changed by them and their music, 1,2,3,4 Hey Ho Lets Go! Music now meant something else to me, it was beautiful, it had meaning, I found more and more great music as time went on, and it all added to my dreams of a better life, Juliana Hatfield, Belly, The Ramones, Alice In Chains, Nirvana, so much great music was around, and its still something that plays a huge part in my life, and will till the end of my days.