Letting down my guard

It was the year after school, I had gotten over my 'pyscho bitch from hell' relationship, my friendship with Jamie was pretty good, we'd hang out lots, go for drives with our other mates, Andrew and Karl, things were easy, no stress. During the last few months of school, Janelle, had started dating a guy at our school, it didnt bother me, I was over her, after school we'd see each other at parties, we werent really good friends, but we were on speaking terms. I mentioned that Jamie showed an interest in her towards the end of school too, once school finished he would bring her up in conversation, very random things, she only live a few streets away from us, he'd always just drive past her place, he had a thing for her. Im not sure when, but sometime in '95 she broke up with the guy she was seeing, not really sure why, but I think Jamie was part of the reason. He mentioned a few times stopping at her place and chatting to her, then one day she stopped by his place for a visit, I knew what was about to happen, just a matter of time really. So they ended up dating, she would hangout with the rest of us, I was pissed off in the beginning, for a few reasons, Jamie knew I liked her awhile ago, now I was over that, so I thought, but I maybe expected him to atleast say something to me about wanting to date her...sort of a unspoken friends code, you know 'is it ok with you?' type thing, if he had said that I wouldve been fine, but he didnt so I was pissed. It was around this time that I had started a new job as a chef, I had met some new friends, David and Tonya, dave was a car junkie like me, so we lots in common, i'd hangout with him and Tonya, we'd go out to car shows, and go drinking. Anyway months went by, I didnt see Jamie and Janelle all that often for awhile, my choice really, I was hanging around my other friends Myles also. Eventually it was Janelle that started to talk to me abit, inviting me to various outings with her and Jamie and the others, it wasnt too bad, we actually became really good friends. Eventually we'd go out late nights and Jamie would just stay home, he didnt like all the same things we were doing, Andrew sort of went his own way, so it was mostly me, Karl and Janelle, it was wierd. I started to see the cracks in Jamie and Janelles relationship, she was spending more time with me, even without Karl, we'd hangout in the city making fun of people walking by, we'd checkout some of the old record stores, go to movies...it was become very strange, but I wasnt complaining. Then it seemed things were crumbling for her, she started to act really oddly around me, she spoke to me differently, talking about finding the right path in life, how she could stay on the current path, one she knew, one she'd been on for some time, or follow the new path, an uncertain destination...was I picking up on something involving me? Karl, he has a big mouth, I had my idea on what was going on with Janelle, I was telling Karl what I though, and Janelle was telling him what was going on with her, he told me that her and Jamie were having issues, and I had sparked an interest in her, now normally that would maybe have made me feel interested, but after everything I had gone through with her, I felt like a 'backup plan', and I was right, she pushed Jamie to prove what she meant to him, they got engaged, some part of me was crushed, but I saw it coming, so I was also prepared for the outcome. It was just after this, I went back to my chef job-I had quit 6 or 7 months earlier- it was David that told me to come back, he said there was a wierd girl there that he said i'd probably like, she was into Faerie's and other wierd things...why would that interest me??? But I went back to that job, it was there that I met this girl Karyn...this was to start a new part of my life journey...